


I Found Heaven

by shadowspice



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Cutesy, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Drama, Eventual Sebastian Michaelis/Ciel Phantomhive, Fluff, Gay, Homosexuality, Light Angst, Light-Hearted, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Modeling, Modern Era, Obsessive Behavior, Pedophilia, Poor Ciel Phantomhive, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Sebastian, Romance, Scary, SebaCiel - Freeform, Sick Character, Teenage Ciel Phantomhive, Top Sebastian, syndrome - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-09 06:28:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6893776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowspice/pseuds/shadowspice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sebaciel AU: Sebastian, a high-profile model and part-time womanizer has the word 'stone heart' written on his resume. Ciel, aka. 'Blue Robbin' is the spitting image of the sun - innocent to the brim and they call him, rather distastefully, 'special'.</p><p> What if these two worlds collide?</p><p>----</p><p> "I want to grow old with you." </p><p>"Even if I will act this way forever?" </p><p>||SebastianxCiel||</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> NEW SERIES OHHHHHHH NEW FANDOM OHHHHH  
> enjoy :)

_"I love you"_

Those three words have always been so disgustingly absurd to me.

At the age of twenty-three, I've dated almost all kinds of girls, from high-school heartthrobs to busty college girls; serious types, devoted types, clingy types, athletes, bipolar older women and models I've worked with at least once.

At the beginning of the week, it will be exciting. There are ones who play so hard-to-get that made the chase all the more thrilling, and sometimes there are naturally uptight girls that always end up falling madly in love with me at the end of every week.

And, it never lasted longer than a week.

Once I hear those three words, everything simply vanishes into thin air. It is as if the world has blurred, the still-life deafening me. It felt like watching myself from the side; seeing my own scarlet eyes turn closer to gray and cold hard, my features neutral and uncaring. It was a cycle - an infinite, inescapable routine.

Truthfully, I've lost all hope to actually feeling anything towards anybody.

Day in and day out, that's what I thought.

I was sitting in my usual spot in Sally's café, drinking the same old espresso with the same materialistic type of lover. She kept on spouting nonsense about sales, clothes and diamond rings - saying she couldn't afford them, when at the end of the day I am still trapped to buying all of it anyway.

"Clarissa had the same shoes as mine, so I stopped wearing them. I need new ones, something better. I actually saw one that sort of fit the chart, it's from Calvin Klein and the price isn't so bad."

I mustered a smile - the brightest, fakest one. "That's great, Anna."

"Can you go with me tomorrow? Please?" She pleaded.

"I'll see about that." She dropped the innocent look, rolling her eyes.

"Come on, Sebastian. If I don't get it tomorrow, I'm going to die! I've worn all my shoes repeatedly for like a month already and I can't keep doing that! My friends already noticed! You understand, right?" I gritted my teeth, keeping silent. She was all cheap and mature five days ago, and now she thinks she can just demand anything by now.

"Like I said, I 'll check my schedule first. I have an important photoshoot." Mentally, I imagined myself pulling her hair across the table and spilling scalding hot coffee all over her scalp.

She grunted, pulling out her phone. "Fine." She stayed in her phone for good five minutes. I could almost bet all my money she was ranting to her friends, or telling her other boyfriend to buy them instead.

'Today is Saturday.' I told myself, 'I think I've done enough. She's more taxing than I expected. I can break it off tomorrow morning.'

"Ah, who are you going to work with tomorrow?"

"Some girl named Cara."

"Oh my god. You mean the Cara Delevingne?" She exclaimed.

"I think so."

"I want to meet her! Bring me with you!" I sighed for the umpteenth time, ignoring the rest of her high-pitched speech. I take it back - I might just end it once I get home.

She has a pretty face alright - green eyes and silky long auburn hair. Fair skinned and tall with a good sense of style - but sadly, her mouth breeds like that of a goat.

Women look good from faraway, but whenever I get close to them, they just become all the same. They all turn into desperate girls shackling me by the throat, jealous of every woman that ever glances by me. Their soft and gentle beauty weighed nothing anymore, and true enough, I can feel myself no longer being able to appreciate them.

They treat me as some trophy, something they can brag about or keep locked in the room for eternity. There literally is no in between.

'If only someone would just walk in and-

"Sally!" I feminine voice barked, but it wasn't all pushy and irritating. Somehow, amidst all the noise, that voice was the one I heard quite distinctly. I scanned the crowd, still sipping the cup of cold coffee, and my eyes laid on a certain blue-eyed young boy who pounced around with hands up in the air.

That moment, although it didn't show in my face, I was attracted.

Coincidentally, he possessed the face of my ideal woman. It was inevitable that I found him rather beautiful, but I didn't think too much about it. He was male, perhaps ten years younger at that. He was simply out of my league so I turned away.

However, I still listened to him closely.

"How is the café doing?" I heard him ask.

Sally, the grumpy owner of the place, surprisingly smiled and ruffled his stale blue hair. "Nothing quite outstanding without you, Ciel."

"I'm glad I went to check-up early, now I've got time to help around. Where are the others?"

"At the back. Did you know? Bard made a huge mess again."

"I'll go help him clean then I'll go wait the tables!" I glanced at him. 'He worked here? Is that even legal?'

"Are you even paying attention to me?" A pouting voice interrupted. I turned to her, dropping my cup.

"I wasn't."

"Ugh! You are so annoying today."

"So are you."

"Excuse me?!" She stood, her voice reiterating across the room. We gained a lot of curious stares from customers, and even ones from the boy and the older woman.

"Pay your own share. I'm done with you." Redness instantly painted her cheeks in embarrassment, and before I knew it her hand was up close to my face, her stance threatening.

I expected the slight pain from her flimsy palm to land on my cheek, but for whatever reason, it didn't come.

"What do you think you're doing?!" I blinked my eyes open, darting to a smaller boy who was in awkward position in front of me wincing in pain.

She immediately withdrew her hand, gasping. "Wha- what were you thinking?" Then, it clicked in my head what just happened. The boy began collecting tears in his eyes but he bit his lip to control them from spilling out. A bruise slowly formed on his left cheek, his hands still wide on a protective stance.

"I'm sorry! I can't let you hurt any of our customers!" He reasoned out while I continued to stare at him in shock. Why did he take that blow?

'More importantly, what kind of person is stupid enough to do that for some stranger?'

She narrowed her eyes, "He started it! You don't know anything!"

"Still! You must talk things out and not resort to violence, miss! Especially not when there are also children around!" He explained. He looked so pathetic and weak, but he kept a strong face. I felt quite bad, but I felt worse for thinking how funny and adorable his crying face looked.

'You are a child yourself, though.'

"I'm sorry miss, but we cannot tolerate this." The owner said."This place stands because of our loyal customers, and what makes them come back is not just the good food, but the kind and happy atmosphere of this whole place.

Anna rolled her eyes, grabbed her bag and walked out. I thought that she was too embarrassed anyway to continue an argument with some kid, and even the owner herself has shooed her out. She will definitely not be appearing around this area anytime soon.

I looked at him again, staring in awe not of his bravery, but rather his unnecessary martyrdom. Tough, it would be rude to brush him off, so with a concerned face, I pulled him to face me.

"Are you alright? You shouldn't have done that!" The teary eyes widened, and instantly a smile plastered on his features. I blinked away, surprised with the sudden, overflowing and suffocating happy radiance .

"I had to. I swore that I will not let any single customer here leave unhappy." He smiled wider.

"She did though."

"She was a bad guy." He replied. I couldn't help but chuckle at his choice of words. He sounds like a ten year-old who loves to play hero.

"I bet you're really sad." He leaned in, pinching the side of my cheek. I stood frozen then again. It's been years since someone - let alone a stranger - touched me so freely. Does he even know who I am?

"She was your princess but she turned to be a witch." I choked.

"I can't deny that. I knew she was bad though, just gave her the chance." He seemed to not understand, but a light in his eyes flickered again and he smiled so wide it made my jaw hurt.

"You're so kind! I bet you're a prince from a far away land!" He said with all honestly, excitement vibrating in his whole being.

"Come on, Ciel, don't disturb mister Sebastian further." Sally intervened.

"But he needs comfort right now!" Then, he looked around, then his eyes landed on a stuff toy near by the counter. "Wait here!" Then he went and grabbed it, waving it in front of me.

"This is my teddy bear. He comforts me whenever I feel lonely. I can lend him to you if you want?"

Sally coughed, "Let's go, Ciel."

"No, it's fine." I told her, which she groaned in return.

"Really? It won't be a bother?"

"Yep! His name is Sebastian." He pointed at me, "You guys have the same name, so both of you will definitely get along!" I placed my hand on my lips, seeing my whole situation so laughable and unbelievable.

"Thank you." I took it from his hand, keeping it close to my chest.

"You don't look that happy still." He tilted his head.

"Hm? I am." I smiled.

"Stop pretending. It's bad, you know." My eyes widened by every second. Sally herself didn't seem to understand, but deep inside I was beyond caught off-guard - this stranger, some kid decades younger than me, perfectly saw through me without hesitance, and I felt my smirk turn in to a frown.

"I guess I should do my special move."

"Special move?"

"Yeah. Mom said that by doing this, anyone would feel better." I quirked my brow - that's impossible. It's not as if I was hooked to her, or I feel at loss for breaking up with her. Though, he seem to be acknowledging false problems, when in fact there was none.

I don't feel anything, so what do you expect?

"You have a weird look on your face. Let me fix that."

"What-"

He wrapped slender arms around my neck, squishing me close to his lithe and smooth body. I was speechless, shocked and frozen. He hugged me with all his might, pouring all his emotions into it. Then, I felt something switch inside me, something churn and pull. It was the first time, and I rather found it unpleasant.

I have to get away from him.

However, before I can push him away, feathery lips kissed my cheek, his breath mixing with mine.

I felt something unleash and get lost within but I couldn't point a finger on it.

"Okay, stop it." A blond chef pulled us away, an annoyed look on his face.

"He get's clingy but he's a good kid, you know. Bear with him." I was still catching up to reality when the boy greeted the chef.

"Bard! Let's bake some cookies!"

"Huh? Why?"

"It's to cheer Mister Sebastian here up!" He brought his hands in the air, determined. Bard looked unsure, but then a smile crawled up to his face. Fierce eyes turned into that of a caring older brother and he grabbed the younger's shoulder close to his torso.

"Let's get on with it!"

"Let's make lots! Maybe we can give it for free later!" Bard nodded.

"Don't waste too much. Honey, don't let him take control." Bard's jaw dropped.

"I'm older!"

"You burned down the kitchen last week!" Ciel pulled Bard away, both of them hopping to the kitchen. I felt like I was dragged into an unknown situation I am not thoroughly prepared for, but at the same time I thought that it wasn't so bad.

A woman with tired features faced me, her tongue clicking. "Sorry, he's really like that."

"It's fine. I find him endearing."

She seemed to not expect my response, but she laughed anyway. "Really? Nice to hear you say that. Some customers tell him straight in the face that he's annoying." I dropped the fond look, slight rage clenching my insides. How is that possible?

They are all blind to no return.

"Well, you can't help it. We can't do anything about it."

"It's the first time I saw him here. Why did you hire him?"

"No, he replaced Rachel. He's Rachel's son."

"He is?" I recalled the woman's face, and I did remember her as a lovely woman at the very least. "Why?"

"Rachel became ill. She can't keep up with bills and stuff like that, so Ciel thought that he would work during days she couldn't so it could get them through."

"How does he manage school?"

"He doesn't. Their income is spent with his therapy." I snapped my head to her.

"Is something the matter with him?" Sally went quiet, then she chuckled loudly.

"What? I thought you noticed by now, lady-killer?" Then, her gullible tone went serious, her eyes darting around the room.

"You know, he doesn't act his age."

"Isn't he around ten, or maybe twelve?"

"No." Her head dropped, her hands playing with each other, "He...he's seventeen." I held my breath for a minute, trying to comprehend her words. I looked at the young boy again who went around greeting everyone while talking about his favorite desserts - and the more I wasn't able to understand.

"How can that happen?"

"You see, it's not normal." Her gaze pierced at me. "He also gets attached once you become kind to him. If you are going to befriend him, then make sure you're consistent about it. I know what you're really like, Sebastian." She warned.

"You know I won't do that." I didn't think of that response - it just came out, and it was more serious that I intended. However, deep in my consciousness, I knew that's exactly what I meant.

She smiled, defeated. "Yeah, you just can't help but want to protect him, don't you?"

I looked away, but I nodded anyway. I wasn't there yet - but there is something within me that stirred and kicked, screaming the boy's name.

"Do you know...what he has?" I stated warily. She nodded her hand, looking at Ciel once again.

"Yeah. We don't really talk about it much." She buried her hands in her pockets, "You see, he's going to be trapped in the mind of a ten-year old for life. The thing is, he knows something is wrong with him, but at the same time he couldn't point it out. He doesn't understand why he's like that and sometimes it frustrates him that he can't do anything about it." I looked down, burining holes at the back of my hands. My mind was quiet and the sole thing that trained to and fro was the young boy I just met - a special, loving little human.

"Oh..." It was all I could muster. Sally smiled sympathetically,

"Ciel has peter pan syndrome."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes I have It planned out, and yes I might just update often. Thanks for all of you who have read and left kudos in this work! I love you! <3

A tall male stepped out of the shower, steam escaping between the glass panels that concealed his bare state. He went to wrap his lower body with a towel and brushed wet hair off his eyes. He gazed at himself from the mirror, red eyes observing from head to toe then back to his face.

He thought that his features were indeed perfect - godly even, but he never truly took the time to look at himself closely through the mirror. Manicured hands rose and he stroked his left cheek; memories from a few days ago hitting him like a brick.

Ciel had kissed him there, and for some reason it felt surreal to him. It's not as if he's never had anyone kiss him there - more like way too many - but this one was a different kind of kiss. It brimmed of innocence and sincerity, the feathery sensation burning there until it hurt.

His skin crawled at the thought of the young boy - be it that of disgust or pleasure, he wasn't sure.

He went to dress himself, darting from one outfit to another. He settled on a gray jeans and loose black jumper, thinking he'd rather feel comfortable than restricted. He'll probably remove his clothes at the photoshoot anyway so there's no use for making too much effort.

"Here goes nothing." He muttered under his breath, getting his car keys. He was free until ten-thirty but he needed that parking slot - it's a busy day in London today and he'd rather not waste his time impatiently tapping his hands on the car wheel while stuck in heavy traffic.

Just before he left, his eyes landed on a bag of half-eaten chocolate cookies. Ciel baked it for him four days ago, offering it as comfort. That day, after baking some cookies, they ended up baking more, giving it to customers and even homeless people. There were times they had burnt batched because of certain chef, but once he stepped in action, everything was perfect, fluffy and chewy.

He was no cook, but ever since he lived by himself, he knew a recipe or two. Cookies were also easy to learn just by watching someone make it, and after a bit of observing in the kitchen, he lent the crew a hand.

"Bring some home, okay? Come back soon!" They finished a little too late, the skies were already hung in the dark. He waved Sebastian goodbye enthusiastically and although he couldn't reciprocate that, he still gave him a smile and a small peck on the cheek, earning a deep blush from the younger boy.

'He really is cute.' He chuckled. He instantly snapped out of his thoughts and hurried to leave; then once parked safely, before he knew it, he was headed to Sally's.

~*~*~*~*~*~

I arrived at Sally's and I thanked god that today wasn't so bad. There were still some people who asked for a picture, but other than that, there were no outbursts or disturbing paparazzi that followed me back.

"M-Mister Sebastian!" A throaty female voice squeaked. A younger woman in round glasses greeted me with a shy smile, tucking her red hair behind her ears.

"What are you doing here?"

"It's been a while, Mey-rin. How was your trip to China?"

"I-It was great! I f-finally got to meet some of my far relatives...I couldn't understand a thing..." She pouted and I patted her head. I sent her a small smile, which she definitely returned.

I began looking around the busy café, expecting to see the boy in the counter with Sally or waiting the tables with a happy grin.

'Peter pan syndrome, huh.' I thought as I navigated the room but to no avail. I sat on an empty chair and waited, gesturing at Bard who nodded back.

'I wonder how often? Can it be that bad that one can't go to school?' Bard came to me, a cigarette between his teeth.

"Usual?"

"Please."

"How about a sandwich?" He continued.

"As long as you didn't make it." Veins popped out his forehead and he sneered at me, folding his arms. "Then I'll make sure that I made it with my bare hands, you devil." He grunted and stomped away with the menu, Sally glaring at him.

I flipped out my phone and began texting, my curiosity unsatisfied. It felt weird to be so concerned of someone, but perhaps it was because he was simply peculiar that I never met anyone like him. I sent the message to a favorite contact and sighed.

'What time is he coming?' I bit my cheek.

'Wait, I didn't come for him.' I leaned forward again, scratching my neck. A sudden pain jolted me upwards my seat, and when I looked back, it was exactly whom I expected.

"Hey, today is not Wednesday young man. Had too little sleep last night?" Sally placed her hands on her waist, narrowing her eyes.

"You're off the rail on your schedule and that never happened. What made you come?" I cleared my throat, composing myself - my brown furrowed.

"I had free time. That's all."

"Ciel won't be here this early, you know. The kid's got therapy!"

"I didn't come for him." Sally rolled her eyes, slapping me from behind. "There are times when your dishonesty is cute but today is not one of them." She trailed off and left, gesturing at Mey-rin who was rather moving slower to work in time.

My food came and I waited for a little longer, and a few minutes after I received a text reply:

'No, it is not a medically accepted syndrome. Although it exists, it is but an abnormal behavior that can cause various extreme tendencies. People do take therapy but based on what you've described, it seems more complicated than that.'

After reading the reply, I was under the impression that it may be something quite worse. I thought for a moment, then I typed.

'Is that so? What do you think it is?' I pressed send, and immediately my phone vibrated again.

'It may be autism or Asperger's. There are different types, but there are two main ones that fall on introverts and extroverts. Your friend may be an extrovert, but he must also be experiencing panic attacks along the way.'

'I see.'

'I have a patient with that diagnosis. He just left, actually.' I smirked, typing back.

'I hate typing. Call me.' After three seconds, my phone vibrated and I chuckled at the contact name. I picked it up while a heavy, tired sigh greeted.

"You're annoying." He stated grumpily. I could almost hear him fixing his glasses in sheer exhaustion.

"I haven't heard your voice in a long time, little brother."

"I'm in the middle of a thesis. Bye."

"Wait!" He groaned, again. "I just wanted to tease you. The patient you're talking about - wasn't he the same one from five years ago?" I continued seriously.

"Yeah. The young boy I picked up in the alley back then."

"I'm glad you're committed to something."

"Well, it's bothering me that you actually asked about that friend of yours. You never cared about anyone." He taunted.

"Why do you speak so disrespectfully to your older brother?"

He was silent for a minute before speaking again, "Why won't you come back home, and maybe we'll talk?" I widened my eyes just slightly, my lips parting. I was at loss for words before I quickly thought of a remark, one that also concealed by discomfort. "I'm not succeeding the hospital, brother."

"He's dying." I frowned, looking out of the window.

"I have to go."

"No, don't dare hang up." He raged. The door rang open, Ciel hopping in with flowers in his hands. He placed it in a vase on top of the counter, greeting every customer with a smile and contagious joy. Cerulean eyes darted to me, immediately lighting up as he smiled wider. A tint of pink shaded the apple of his cheeks, and within a second he was hopping to me.

"Sebastian! You came back!" I covered the phone, putting it away from my ear.

"I wanted to see you again." He blushed deeper and I smirked, seeing the reactions I can derive from the boy with just a few words.

"I'm glad you did. I actually need some help." He looked hesitant, rubbing his fingers together.

"Um...can you bake cupcakes?"

I smiled fondly, "Yes, as long as there's a recipe book." Although I never got the chance to actually bake them, I don't usually fail when it comes to precision. Accuracy in baking is somehow fundamental, and of course, it also takes a bit of skill - which I already own perfectly.

"Really?" He lifted his head, hopeful.

"Really." To be honest, I don't know when I began listening to anybody's favors, let alone help them bake. If it were the me a month ago, I would've laughed as I drank a glass of vodka.

"B-but you don't have to. I mean, it's okay. I just - well I just want-

"Hey, it's fine." I assured, taking his hand. If he were a girl it would've been normal. But no - he wasn't some girl nor did I feel nothing.

And that was the problem.

He bit his lip, "Uhm...jus i-if you're not busy. Sally told me that you are a busy man and-" I pushed my finger on his lips.

"When did you become so bashful? You were so brave before."

"Because it's embarrassing." He exclaimed with a firmer tone. I quirked a brow, "What's so embarrassing?"

"I-I found you really cool. The cookies you baked were good too. And you're always so composed, and cool - I mean, I was thinking that maybe you make delicious cupcakes too." He spoke so fast I barely kept up, but I caught the whole essence of his statement.

For the first time, I heard something move in my chest, something thump. That...I didn't like it.

"I don't know...." I changed my mind out of the blue, red flags waving in my head. His expression dropped and it was in melancholy, and I swallowed my words back as he turned to leave with a silent 'Okay.' I pulled him back, surprised even of myself,

 

"Sure. Let's bake some cupcakes." All the anxieties faded and he clasped his hands together, skipping back to Bard and Mey-rin and told them about the plan. They stood excited while Sally shook her head in disapproval, and I gestured her 'please' until she gave in.

I don't usually socialize, let alone engage in such messy things with so little time in my hands, but neither did I expect Ciel to have me by the throat completely, not knowing the claustrophobia I'm beginning to feel whenever he's around - as if he were a plague that sickens me with no cure, I feel skeptical and unstable.

No one has waltzed in my life with that much smile and that much surprises. He was unpredictable, angel-like, pure - not a single speck of dirt, almost like if I were to touch him,

then I might just break that illusion within.

"Sebastian!" Bard called, Finny carrying two large bags of flour.

I have been coming to Sally's for years, have known them and may or may not have ordered them around at some point, and this kid just walks in and forces himself in all our lives.

"Let's do a challenge, yeah?"

"The café is still open."

"Nah, we close for a while to prepare for lunch." Finny said.

"Hey! Don't ignore me!" Bard pointed at me. "Let's see who can make the best cupcakes!" I rolled my eyes and grumbled.

'I'm going to be late and Aleister is going to kill me.'

Screams echoed from the other line laying forgotten, and I scrambled to pick my phone up, laughing. "Sorry. Got to go make some cupcakes, Claude." Then, I pressed end call.

Here goes nothing.


End file.
